Week 11 ~ Letters to a Lost Lover ~ Cord Clearing.


” It was so funny, watching my body shake and quiver…”

10th June


It’s been a while since I’ve written, although I talk to you in my head every day.  But I have to tell you about my freaky session today before I forget!  I just hope I can find the words to describe it properly for you.

I’ve been to see Cian – the energy healer, remember? – every week since the first session and feeling very relaxed each time.  I love going to see him – the sense of peace and trust I get from his presence keeps me going.  Next weekend he’s running a workshop on energy healing and I’m going.  I’m so excited about it!  There’s all this amazing stuff happening around me, in such stark contrast to the pain I’ve been feeling.  And I promise I’ll get around to telling you about it, but let me tell you what happened at today’s session first.

Up until this morning, I still hadn’t told Cian anything about why I’ve been coming to see him.  I’ve been comfortable just turning up and falling asleep on his massage bench, feeling his warm acceptance of me and just letting him get to work.  This morning, though, he said, ‘maybe it’s time you told me what’s been going on’.  So I took a deep breath and out it all came again – the old story that I’m getting fed up hearing myself repeat.  Then, instead of going straight into the same kind of session I’ve been getting used to, he did something different.

Briefly, he explained the concept of muscle-testing – which is taken from kinesiology – and he proceeded to ask various questions of my body, checking the ability of my arms and legs to hold their strength in response to his questions.  Actually, they were more statements than questions, and the degree of strength or weakness in my limbs indicated the level of truth the statements had for me.  I had to laugh at how the strength literally vanished as he hit on a couple of core issues.  He’d say something like whether the current issue relates to my marriage – and my arms and legs would stay as strong as normal under light pressure from his hand.  But then he’d ask something else, such as whether there was a connection from the current issue to my childhood, and my legs and arms would simply give way under his pressure as if they belonged to a rag doll.  It was intriguing!

He patiently worked his way through a variety of statements and timeframes to find his way back to the root of what’s been causing me pain.  It was a real eye-opener for me to see how my body so readily yielded answers that my brain could never have figured out.  When he finished with the muscle testing, he suggested it might be a good idea to do some ‘cord clearing’ – clearing the energetic cords between you and I.

Then, as if that wasn’t weird enough, the real freaky stuff started.  I lay down and he said he needed to ask your permission to work on the cords.  I guess he must have been satisfied with whatever response he got because we continued as we used to, his hand on my stomach and me nodding off nicely.  But after a few moments, just as I was getting to that point of drifting off, I felt this huge jolt as if I’d been electrocuted. I opened my eyes to see what Cian was doing, only to see him standing a few feet away rubbing his arms down. 

‘That was strong!’ he said, looking slightly taken aback.  ‘Normally nothing gets to me, but that was really strong.’

I didn’t know what to say.  Part of me felt like it needed to apologize, but I had no idea what had happened so what could I apologize for? Instead, I just said,

‘Are you okay?  What was all that about?’

‘Oh, it was just the energy coming from his end.  It’s like it has been backed up for years, just waiting for an opportunity for release.  I’m fine.  We’ll continue if you’re ready?’

And with that, I lay down again and he resumed his normal stance at my side, my head struggling to assimilate what he’d just said.

There was no falling asleep this time, though.  Within a few seconds of his touch on my stomach, my body started to tremble uncontrollably.  I opened my eyes, looking for some kind of sign from Cian that this was okay but he had his eyes firmly closed, lost in some kind of parallel dimension.  It was so funny, watching my body shake and quiver with no ability to control it.  I started laughing, but even that didn’t stop the trembling.  Once or twice, I caught a glimpse of your face and wondered if you were sleeping, given the time difference between us.  Maybe you were shaking in your sleep too! 

But the strange thing was that there was no emotion at all.  Well, perhaps it was one of the less strange things, come to think of it.  No sadness, or anger, or anything.  With all that energy rushing through me I expected to be feeling some emotion. 

Eventually, it wound itself down and the session ended.  Cian made no more mention of what had happened and I didn’t know where to start with asking questions, so I didn’t say anything more either, apart from ‘see you at the weekend’ – as if all that weird shaking was perfectly normal!

I wonder if you felt anything too, while it was happening or afterward.  I’d so love to be able to ring you and ask how you felt when you woke up this morning – if you felt lighter or had any weird dreams. It would be lovely to think that both of us are receiving the benefits of these sessions rather than me alone.  Is it possible you’re being healed along with me?  Who knows.  Maybe I’ll find out some time in the future – the not too distant future, I hope. 

I still miss you, Mark, and love you – whatever you’re doing now.  But I hope you’re getting to read these and that they’re at least making you smile, if nothing more.



(The Blog Novel of the Letters unfolds here weekly during the autumn and winter.  If you’d like to be alerted as they are published, please just ‘follow’ my blog)

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