Yes, we’ve been hoping for the love of our life but perhaps we’re more comfortable with it remaining just a hope rather than a reality…
Lets face it – on some level we’re all in need of some healing around sex. No matter how free and uninhibited we think we are, everyone has some pain, shame or insecurity lurking in the background connected with their sexuality. It’s just one of those unfortunate side-effects of being a modern human being trying to break free of generations of repression.
When she shows up inside of me there is still a part of me that wants to push her away, part of me that doesn’t love her anymore than others do. She is uncivilized and uncaring about the niceties that make us outwardly attractive to others—the groomed hair, the carefully-selected clothes, the clever ideas and pieces of paper proving our credentials.
We may think women are more touchy-feely than men—being more in need of hugs and non-sexual intimacy— but my experience has shown that this bias is not a fair representation of how things really are. How much of what we expect, and therefore see, is down to social conditioning and upbringing? Do we encourage our sons to be physically affectionate? We may think it’s cute when we see two girls hugging, but what about boys? How comfortable is society with men being affectionate to each-other (or to women), without assuming there’s a sexual element to it?
With the widespread availability of various forms of bodywork and psychotherapy, along with countless published volumes by the likes of Reich, Lowen and others intrigued by how the body reflects the mind and the emotions, it’s perhaps a little strange that there isn’t more mainstream awareness of body armoring—with the fact that the body can, and does, hold memory and trauma in a very physical way.
…what I feel is such intense love and physical pleasure that it forces ‘me’ to stand aside so that it can express itself…like warm liquid honey spreading through my veins, melting any minor resistances it meets…
Despite all the open and informed discussions that I’ve come across, it seems there’s still a long way to go in our ability to get to a place where sex is simply a non-issue—just a normal and very enjoyable part of being human.